There are very few things in life that can stir emotions within you like college football. For four months a year, millions of Americans decide to put their mental well-being in the hands of a collection of 18- to 24-year-old men they do not know personally. All they know is that they've chosen to wear their preferred uniform. Sometimes this decision brings joy. Other times it brings pain.
But what it always brings as kickoff draws near every week is anxiety. There's always the nervous energy of the unknown heading into a game. You can never be sure how things will go, and where the rollercoaster will take you. However, while we all feel it, some of us feel it more than others, and each week, The Anxiety Rankings aim to find the five most anxious places in the country.
Welcome to 2026. Try to stay calm. You'll fail, but try all the same.
1. Anybody Associated with LSU
Perhaps you've heard, but there's been quite a bit going on around LSU over the last nine months or so. It turns out the soap opera about hiring Lane Kiffin away from Ole Miss when the Rebels were in the midst of a playoff run didn't end as soon as the Kiffin hire became official. That's the thing about hiring Lane Kiffin: the distractions are never temporary. Once one fades from the spotlight, a new one emerges from the dark.
The latest has involved LSU flirting with players who failed to make NFL rosters and attempting to lure them to Baton Rouge. Things are so bad that the SEC has filed a lawsuit against LSU, and there's been saber-rattling from other schools in the league that LSU should be kicked out of the conference if it brings in any players from NFL training camps.
Regardless of where you stand on the issue, I must remind you that LSU has a game against Clemson on Saturday night. Now, Clemson may not be the Clemson of 10 years ago, competing for national titles every year, but it's not McNeese State either. It's a legit opponent to have to deal with right off the bat. One you wouldn't want to be distracted from preparing for, and, well, avoiding distractions isn't going very well, is it?
LSU fans, coaches, students, alumni, and local politicians can project confidence all they want, but we know they all have that voice in the back of their heads. Let's go back to the 2022 season. It was Brian Kelly's first year in charge, and while the offseason distractions surrounding his hire centered on the initial shock of it and his attempt at a Cajun accent, it was a relatively normal offseason leading up to that first game against Florida State. Another one of those quality ACC opponents!
LSU lost the game 24-23. It didn't end their season by any stretch, but it certainly killed the buzz quickly and served as a bad omen for what was to come.
What if it happens again, but this time at home? What if it happens against a Clemson program that everybody says is past its glory days, and is led by a coach who has allegedly had the game pass him by? What if you spent all that money, pissed off all those people, and you start 0-1?
2. Anybody Associated with Ole Miss
You didn't think Ole Miss would escape the anxiety, did you? Just because you're on the other end of everything that's happened at LSU doesn't mean you aren't susceptible to your own demons. Much like everybody associated with LSU, the Ole Miss folks are projecting that same kind of confidence.
They're better off without Lane Kiffin! They didn't like him much anyway! He was a real jerk!
But what if you're not better off? What if last year was as good as it's going to get? Keep in mind that while Ole Miss has three national titles to its name, they came a very long time ago in a very different era of college football.
Their last national title was in 1962, but hey, a lot of programs go 64 years without winning one. Not as many go 63 years without at least winning their conference, though, and Ole Miss' last SEC title was in 1963. It's not a program that has often found itself at the top of the sport.
John Vaught won 190 games and finished with a .745 winning percentage. Lane Kiffin left with 135 fewer wins than Vaught, but his .743 win percentage makes him the only Rebels coach to even come close to matching Vaught's success. The only other Ole Miss coach to sniff .700 was N.P. Stauffer, and he went 17-7-2 from 1909 to 1911.
So while you can project confidence in the future, nobody outside Oxford is quite so sure, and most of those in Oxford aren't, either, if they're being honest. Which is why you'd probably prefer to start the season with an FCS opponent or some G6 team you're favored by 24 points against.
What you don't want to see is a Louisville team considered by some to be a playoff contender. One led by a coach in Jeff Brohm who has a pretty lengthy history of knocking off ranked opponents when his team is an underdog. You may not see it under those finely starched collars, but Ole Miss fans are sweating.
3. Luke Fickell
There are plenty of people who were surprised to see Luke Fickell get another season at Wisconsin, but once the decision to bring him back was made, everybody said and did all the right things. The investment in the program that wasn't there before arrived this offseason. The NIL operation that was allegedly disorganized has become organized.
All of which leads to a transfer class of 33 new players on the roster. And believe me, these 33 new players are definitely better than that transfer class of 22 players, which was ranked third in the Big Ten last year!
Even if it is, how can you not be nervous if you're Luke Fickell right now? All the positive feelings of the offseason could be gone by Monday morning. Sure, one of the selling points on Wisconsin this season is that the schedule is far easier than the one they've faced the last two years. The problem is the first game isn't!
What happens if you get absolutely pasted by Notre Dame at Lambeau Field on Sunday night? Are the good vibes still there for Week 2's game against Western Illinois, or will the student section at Camp Randall have a few too many empty seats again? I think most Wisconsin fans understand they aren't likely to compete with programs of Notre Dame's caliber this season and just want to see legitimate signs of improvement. But a blowout loss to the Fighting Irish to start the season will lead to a lot of intrusive thoughts of the pessimistic variety.
There's only so much patience afforded a coach entering his fifth season who hasn't made it to a bowl game since 2023.
4. Oklahoma State Fans
Some of the anxiety Oklahoma State fans are dealing with right now can be associated with PTSD. As somebody who has cared far too much about Illinois football for the last 25 years, I can relate to a nightmare season.
I know what it's like to watch your team win one game and then get its head caved in every other week. So I not only offer Pokes fans my sympathy, but my empathy.
Which is why I know what you're going through right now. Oh, I know there's a new coach in town, and a whole new team of players with him. That includes the quarterback that some people think has the potential to be a first-round pick in the NFL Draft one day. That's awesome! But, as of right now, it's all talk too.
North Texas was a good American team last year, but is it a good Big 12 team? The other complicating factor here is that the Cowboys open the season at Tulsa. The same Tulsa that beat them in Stillwater 19-12 last year. While it was Tulsa's first win over State since 1998, there have been a few uncomfortable wins in recent years.
What if the worst possible outcome happens and Oklahoma State loses the debut of Eric Morris and Drew Mestemaker? All of those horrible feelings from last year will flood back in a hurry.
5. USC Fans
You never want to be the main character on social media, and last week USC fans were the main character on social media.
Ironically enough, it was for what they didn't do: show up to USC's home opener against San Jose State. Now, excuses were offered. It was very hot. Traffic sucked. The opponent wasn't that good, and so on and so forth.
What USC fans never want to admit is that they just don't care enough unless the team is good or the opponent is a marquee name. Still, after defending themselves vehemently all last week -- and, to be clear, I don't care what they do. Show up, don't; it doesn't matter to me -- you kind of have to show up this week.
After all, this is a night game. That whole excuse about baking in the sun is no longer valid. Sure, you can go to the old traffic excuse, particularly because it's a Friday night, but where can you go on a Friday night in Los Angeles where traffic won't be an issue? Hell, when can you go anywhere in Los Angeles at any time when traffic doesn't suck?
If you don't show up this week, the only excuse is that you don't care. And that's fine, but you can't pretend you do.
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