I’ve discovered the secret to a happy life in this era of constant connection: ignoring everyone that I know and love. Well, at least ignoring their push notifications on my smartphone by living in “Do Not Disturb” mode.
With Do Not Disturb switched on, you still receive each new notification, but your phone doesn’t ping, buzz, or blip to tell you about it. It’s a trendy yet divisive pivot away from the always-on norm. Tongue-in-cheek fancams celebrating Do Not Disturb mode rack up millions of views on TikTok, alongside viral videos calling out users of the feature as rude.
For one week, I proudly joined the growing tribe of Do Not Disturb maximalists who have their notifications silenced 24/7. My experience as part of the DND crew felt transcendent, albeit a bit annoying for everyone trying to get in touch with me.
Before starting, I reached out to some people who leave their phones set to Do Not Disturb mode all the time to better understand their motivations and to learn what it’s like to live a life devoid of constant disturbances. Unsurprisingly, a few of the calls went directly to voicemail.
Some of those folks did pick up, and throughout these conversations, I learned that the practice of going all-DND all the time has a different impact on each user. Some true believers feel like fully embracing Do Not Disturb has radically transformed their smartphone usage for the better by reducing screentime, while others still clock in plenty of phone-scrolling hours, just on their own terms. While the impacts vary, the motivations often trace back to one core theme: a desire to set boundaries around availability.
The first time one of my friends switched their phone to Do Not Disturb and left it there all day, I was shocked. How taboo! A breaking of the social contract that demands constant texting and group chats to stay connected to other humans. But, if anything, I was mainly filled with jealousy. They had successfully squashed that buzzing bee in their pocket.
Both iOS and Android phones have had versions of Do Not Disturb modes available to owners for over a decade. Even so, software updates in recent years have made the setting feel more accessible to a wider range of people seeking to avoid being buzzed.
Claire Meczkowski, who does customer service for a tech company, is fairly new to the Do Not Disturb lifestyle. In January of this year, she started putting her phone on Do Not Disturb during pilates class, sometimes forgetting to switch the setting off after class. That was a turning point for her. “Oh, I actually want this,” says Meczkowski. “This is really, really nice. I should just leave this on.” Currently, her phone is always on Do Not Disturb, unless it auto switches over to Sleep mode at night, another favorite with the notification blockers who use iPhones.
“I took it further, which is Sleep mode. It dims the light of your phone, and it doesn't vibrate,” says Oscar, who asked to only be identified by his first name. “Well, it pissed off a lot of people.” He eventually carved out an exception for his mother, so incoming messages from her will still make his phone buzz. Even so, Oscar still considers the overall smartphone experience to be “extremely invasive.”
Recent research published in the academic journal Computers in Human Behavior suggests that notifications, from social media platforms specifically, can cause hiccups in cognitive processing “lasting approximately seven seconds.” Since my smartphone is rarely further than a foot away from my body, these kinds of little distractions from each notification easily add up. The cumulative effect leaves my attention feeling spliced.
Chace Verity, a queer romance author with Attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder, sees Do Not Disturb as essential to their daily life. They really leaned into blocking notifications back in 2020 when people were asked to stay home in lockdown during the pandemic. “My life had just suddenly become only about what's happening on my phone.” Verity says. “It got very overwhelming.” They started switching on Do Not Disturb at first while working from home for a few hours, and then one day decided to never turn it off.
“In general, I feel much more at peace,” Verity says. “I have reclaimed my time with ‘Do Not Disturb’ mode.”
A full ban on notifications may seem extreme at first, since it’s possible to go into your phone’s settings and adjust the minutia of these notifications, but some Do Not Disturb maximalists view the norm of always-on notifications as absurd, and they argue that technologically enforced silence is truly golden.
“I think everyone should live like this,” says Peter Rubin, an environmental policy student at the University of Michigan. “I think it's crazy that people have their phone buzzing.”
Rubin has always found ways to keep his phone silenced since getting one in middle school, and he recently spent a month trying to cut his smartphone usage down to around 10 minutes a day. He says the experience was a difficult, yet fulfilling exercise in setting the terms of engagement with his smartphone.
“People really expect to be able to reach you whenever, and for some people it's kind of weird when you don't check your phone right away when they text you,” says Rubin. “It's hard to change your own habits while conforming to that expectation. Sometimes my friends get really annoyed with me.”
He acknowledges that if he had kids, then his approach to notifications would likely change as he took on more responsibility. As a resident of a child-free household too, I agree that my week sans notifications would have hit more roadblocks if I had kids to look after, or if I was a caregiver to a sick family member.
As I neared the end of my week living the notification-free lifestyle, I realized the experience was similar to how I imagine it felt to declare yourself a vegan in the 1990s. You come across a little bit rude, or at least holier than thou, if the topic ever comes up as part of a conversation. People sometimes take it as an attack on their habits, when it's actually a personal decision you’ve made.
In order for this to work over the long term, preemptive communication is essential. At the start, I received a few frustrated texts from my partner asking why I was ignoring his calls on the very first day that I turned on Do Not Disturb mode. I felt like an asshole for not giving him a heads up. Anyone curious about trying this out should consider reaching out beforehand to people they message regularly. After I explained that the notification ban was an attempt to regain focus and set boundaries, my partner was more accepting of me embracing DND. He was able to see my intermittent availability as a slight inconvenience he had to work around.
It felt radical to ignore so many texts and calls, though no one seemed too offended when I followed up a few hours later, or even the next day. (How dare I!) While the DND lifestyle is not possible for everyone, it shouldn’t be scoffed at as an antisocial decision. If anything, I felt more active and present with the people I saw IRL during my notification-free days.
While I’ve decided to turn my notifications back on since this experiment ended, I did so with a deeper respect for those choosing to opt out, and renewed motivation to limit the number of pop-ups I allow to just the bare minimum.
