'Disgusted' with his prior self, Joe Pyfer promises inner peace won't stop him from hurting Israel Adesanya

Pyfer's edge remains even as faith and family have become greater priorities in his life

UFC president and CEO Dana White famously coined the term, "Be Joe Pyfer." Ironically, these days, that's the last person Joe Pyfer wants to be is that self-described "mental case."

Pyfer's ferocious fighting style is an extension of his inner turmoil. His career has been a hairy high-wire act as he hazardously channeled a lifetime of pain into a fight career. 

Everything changed six weeks ago. In a dream, Pyfer, 29, came face-to-face with himself. He was "disgusted" and "ashamed" by what he saw. What followed was a vision of the life he could build with his soon-to-be wife and future children. In that moment, the bullish hothead nicknamed "Bodybagz" subdued a lifetime of turmoil.

"Everything I've gone through, everything I've survived, all the mental health issues of suicide and this other crap that I've gone through, I'm still here, and I get to do this," an unfamiliarly calm Pyfer told CBS Sports. "There are people in other countries getting bombed or dealing with poverty and all these things. I'm sitting here wondering if I can't make a fight. Win or lose, I'm winning."  

Pyfer's come-to-Jesus moment came at a critical stage of his career. He's preparing to fight former UFC middleweight champion Israel Adesanya, the second-best middleweight in history, at UFC Fight Night on Saturday in Seattle (8 p.m. ET, Paramount+). On paper, it sounds risky to undergo such a profound identity shift before the biggest fight of his life. Pyfer doesn't see it that way.

He believes there's darkness in everyone. He still feels it in himself. The revelation didn't erase that; it gave him something to balance it.

"To say that I don't want to go out there and hurt this man, I would be a liar. He's trying to take something away from me," said Pyfer about his mindset entering his main event fight. "You're getting a better version. There's nothing like a man truly set free to go out there and express himself without the anxieties of the world and making things bigger than what they are."

Pyfer is already feeling the effects of his newfound faith. For years, the aggression he showed in the Octagon masked an anxious athlete in the locker room, one who wrestled with doubt.

"I'm being completely transparent. Sometimes you feel, when you get out here to fight week, that you're glued to your bed," Pyfer confessed. "You contemplate why you're doing this. I've had those moments many times in my career. I always do a good job of pulling it together, remember what I'm fighting for and everything." 

On Saturday, for the first time, he's fighting for more than himself. Pyfer's lifelong obsession with combat is finally taking a step back. Fighting is no longer the endgame; it's a means to build a future with his family.

"Fighting used to be all or nothing for me," Pyfer said. "After my faith resurgence, it's probably dropped to four or five." 

"I'm still a vicious competitor. My nature is vicious," he assured. "It's all I've known. I've done this since I was four-and-a-half. If you don't think I'm going to go out there and pull the trigger, or you don't think I'll be the same, the only way we'll know is if I fight."